Learn To Understand Yourself With These 3 Incredible Books
Read these books as soon as possible
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” — Aristotle
You could argue that the ability to understand ourselves is one of the most crucial skills to develop in life. People spend their entire lives trying to understand who they truly are without getting much of an answer, so the earlier we can develop this skill, the better.
If we understand ourselves, we can identify:
- Our likes and dislikes
- Our values and motivations
- Our strengths and weaknesses
The more we understand ourselves, the happier and more joyous life we can live.
Here are 3 books which will help you to truly understand yourself and others around you:
Quiet — Susan Cain
Quiet is a book covering the rise of the extrovert ideal and how people shouldn’t underestimate the power of introverts. It’s a goldmine of information, opening your eyes into the way of introverted people and how society is always trying to encourage you to be more extroverted.
If you classify yourself as a bit of an introvert, just like I do, it makes for great reading. Quiet will help any introvert to understand themselves a whole lot more and helps you to take full advantage of your strengths. It’s so relatable and I can guarantee that certain points in the book will resonate with you, just as they did with me. Even for those with an extroverted personality, Quiet will help you understand a different side of your personality that you may not be quite in tune with, or it can even help you understand how other people around you tick and behave why they do.
Favourite quotes from Quiet:
- “Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pyjamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”
- “Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured.”
- “Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to”.
The Laws Of Human Nature — Robert Greene
The way we instinctively act (human nature) comes from the way our brains have been hardwired over evolution after millions and millions of years. In The Laws of Human Nature, Robert Greene comprehensively explains 18 laws of human nature to help us understand why we behave and act the way we do. Along the way, just like all of his other books, Greene uses countless different examples from history to illustrate each law perfectly.
For me, The Laws of Human Nature is the ultimate book to help you manage and understand your own thought patterns and why you (and others) are the way you are.
An amazing book by one of today’s great authors.
Favourite quotes from The Laws Of Human Nature:
- “You like to imagine yourself in control of your fate, consciously planning the course of your life as best you can. But you are largely unaware of how deeply your emotions dominate you. They make you veer toward ideas that soothe your ego. They make you look for evidence that confirms what you already want to believe. They make you see what you want to see, depending on your mood, and this disconnect from reality is the source of the bad decisions and negative patterns that haunt your life. Rationality is the ability to counteract these emotional effects, to think instead of react, to open your mind to what is really happening, as opposed to what you are feeling. It does not come naturally; it is a power we must cultivate, but in doing so we realize our greatest potential.”
- “Learn to question yourself: Why this anger or resentment? Where does this incessant need for attention come from? Under such scrutiny, your emotions will lose their hold on you. You will begin to think for yourself instead of reacting to what others give you.”
- “Man will only become better when you make him see what he is like. — Anton Chekhov”
The Body Keeps The Score — Bessel Van Der Kolk
The Body Keeps The Score, written by Bessel Van Der Kolk, one of the world’s leading experts on trauma, has spent well over 30 years studying how children and adults adapt to traumatic experiences. Kolk explores how trauma physically affects changes in the brain and body causing: anxiety, rage, depression, the inability to concentrate, problems remembering traumatic events, flashbacks, trusting, and forming relationships.
At times, I’m not going to lie, the book is quite disturbing, but very eye-opening at the same time. The book has helped me to understand that trauma is shockingly common and isn’t something you can discard. It’ll always be there for some people, but there are multiple ways in which the dark, traumatic past experiences can be dealt with.
Please don’t let the word ‘Trauma’ in the title put you off reading the book, because you’ll be able to take something away from it even if you haven’t experienced trauma yourself. It’ll enlighten you and understand; you never truly truly know a person. Whether you have suffered any past traumas or not, you MUST read this book.
Favourite quotes from The Body Keeps The Score:
- “Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”
- “As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself… The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
- “Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”
Happy reading!
Yours Sincerely,
Tom
